Ecc's Oddities

Story by eccentricman

So. I think I'm moving away from a site I also post stories on, as (though many people from here post on there) the moment a clit gets big or there is any gender bending people start to get a bit funny about things. It's just getting a little tired.

Without further ado, please find a few non-futa oddities from my body of work (short stories first):

“So, I see from your letter here you're having some trouble with a farm worker of yours?”

“Yessir,” said the farmer as he and the vet walked along the fence lines of one of the enclosures.

“What kind of trouble? Why do you need me? I mean, if it's animal cruelty...”

The farmer stuck a weathered hand up and waggled it doubtfully, “I doubt those longhorns think it's cruel...”

He thought for a second and added, “Shit, they seem darn happy about the whole thing... most placid set of bull beef you'll ever set eyes on...”

They turned a corner and saw a farm hand dozing by one of the fence posts, his legs crossed and hat pulled down over his eyes.

“You seen Jeanie-May?” the farmer asked, drawing a little sigh from underneath the brim of the formerly sleeping man's hat.

Another rough hand was raised, this time from the recumbent man's chest and he wordlessly pointed down the path to a big enclosure.

The vet looked at the farmer and the farmer just nodded, walking off in the direction indicated.

“She's off at the milking stall again... should'a figured. It's about lunch time.”

/////

The vet stepped around the corner of the barn after the heavy steps of the old farmer and stopped dead as he saw a veritable pile of bulls laying about all either sleeping or contentedly munching on some of the hay left around for them. A couple of their brethren waited patiently by the side of a tall stall, their bullish animosity thoroughly subdued as they stood for all the world as if they were in line.

“Yep, that's her alright.”

“I've never seen this, how can so many bulls be in once place and not trying to knock each other senseless... even the ones standing look very docile.”

The vet shot the farmer a dirty look, “Are you drugging these beasts?”

“Nah, not more than growth hormone and some nutrients for a bit of extra size... the usual.”

They heard a loud bullish rumble from inside the stall and the sound of huffing bestial breaths, along with the more even panting of someone hard at work.

“Then what the hell is she even doing to these things then?” the vet asked, non-plussed.

Just then there was another rumble of definite bovine pleasure and the door to the stall was opened seconds later, just in time for a very self satisfied bull to trot out and saunter over to some hay.

What followed the bull though was a vision; six foot tall and easy a couple of feet wider than she was tall, covered in huge slabs of muscle, was a young woman, her huge muscles pumped into massive relief as she wiped her hands clean on a rag. Her clothes were fighting a losing battle to cling onto her, a massive leather waistcoat made tiny against her immensity, her jean shorts lost in a valley of muscle between her bulging torso and her enormously thick legs.

With a happy squeal she bounded over to the next huge steer and rubbed its nose playfully, crooning, “Oh heya gorgeous, I just know you've got LOTS of milk for Jeanie-May!”

Then, without even acknowledging the two men standing there, one open mouthed, one with his hand across his eyes, she bent down and hoisted the prize bull across her shoulders, strolling back into the stall and out of their view.

There was a long pause as the two men heard the sound of bovine pleasure start up again.

“Milk?” was all the vet asked, wiping his forehead.

“Yeah,” the farmer grumped, “milk! One of the boys says, 'Hey Jeanie-May, now you've done the cows, you can do the bulls...'”

“Well, back then she was a slip of a girl, not bright, but a hard worker. So she did the darn bulls.”

“And?”

“And then she asks, 'What do I do with the bull milk?' and some little sumbitch says, 'Farmer Collins says you can dri-'”

“Really?” the vet interrupted.

“Yessir. All of it. Every darn time.”

The scratched their heads and looked at the stall as the volume began to mount.

“She's not-”

“Nah, just her hands. She's not a pervert.”

There was a meditative silence.

“Just, y'know, not bright. And a hard worker, mind!”

/////

They had just watched the last bull be carried into the stall when the vet finally spoke, “So, what do you want me to actually do?”

“Well, we tried letting her off her 'chore' but she didn't stop. We asked her not to 'milk' the bulls and she told us they like it... she was darn right too. Then, well shit, she was too damn big to give a whuppin' to by then. And she's only ever got bigger.”

“So, you want- well, what do you want?”

“Well, y'see, you've got all the book learnin' and all the long words. Maybe you could talk her into understanding that bull milk ain't, well, milk.”

... more on the forums ...