Dangerous Times (non-srs)

Story by ZeHell-ScythefanToo

Recently my brain handed me an idea for a short series, inspired in size by Evil Empire's bite-sized examples - in spirit only, of course, since these things are less like "bites" and more like "slices of pizza". I found them extremely fun to make as I flipped ideas off the wall of laughs and let them land all over the effing place in this here short story collection, comprised half of written humor, half of surreal humor, and half of impregnation schadenfreude. :p Please let me know if people find them to their liking - or, better yet, has any suggestions for future adventures! I may add more from time to time if I become especially inspired or put off from a bigger project - one story maybe takes a day or two of combined work hours if it's not too involved!

These pieces don't come in any order aside from "time of creation", although some of them do hint at a timeline. I don't necessarily challenge anyone to place them in chronological order or anything since some positions would be really vague. Still, you can read them in any order you like as a result! The four main thread tags apply to all of them, but any with additional tags will have them listed. In case you don't like spoiler tags, you can find a full compilation of these on my site (reader) (plain text). Enjoy!

Add'l tags: cucumber

Mrs. Lowry scooped her keys up from her jeans like a balancing act, the bag of groceries in the delicate caress of her other arm wavering as the woman leaned over and thought not once about how her backside might display to the rest of the hall. Light purchases the bag held, yet the contents were ever so wont to sway in their casual stacking - better not lose those tomatoes, the slightly overweight woman kept in mind as she pushed open the door to apartment 207 and stepped inside.

Not the largest of living spaces, but most certainly cozy, Mrs. Lowry appreciated her four room lifestyle; not too little, not too much, and it came with a kitchen where everything the chef could want was within arm's reach! Of course, William had his complaints, but she'd worry about what William wanted when they needed the space! Mrs. Lowry had set the bag of assorted items to the counter and ensured it couldn't tip over before thinking about those reasons, one of her hands slinking across the aperture of her trim stomach and tapping onto the mound of her jeans before--

"News flash! Would-be MILF contemplates virility investment, end quote!" Mrs. Lowry jumped half a mile out of her clothes as she half-turned, half-danced, and half-screamed from the origin of this statement, backing into the corner of her kitchenette to face the intruder before her. Her interruptor was a tall woman, slightly plump in the corners yet with a damnable figure that spelled 'hussy' in Mrs. Lowry's dictionary.

Upon her bulging chest, covering a pair of tits that might have caused poor William to collapse in bliss were he to quite suddenly and inexplicably appear when he was supposed to be at his 9-5 desk job, was the least applicable upper garment for the job: literally a cutoff that was crying out in its life of wardrobe servitude as it desperately clung to buoyant globes, exposing the bottom half of those pendulous puppies and all of the woman's fleshy torso and popping belly button - Mrs. Lowry's eyes were trying to pop to match its pride, in fact.

Her legs were, quite thankfully, much more decent, a pair of baggy pants Mrs. Lowry was having trouble ascertaining the difference between air and leg in (although there sure was plenty of thigh and hip), though this was not the most fetching feature the eyes caught upon for several minutes. Oddly enough, Mrs. Lowry found herself staring at the woman's face, an excited smile behind a pair of thick, sharp-rimmed glasses with chains upon them, chains to the ear that swung with the dance of the woman's features. By god, did this woman take a wrong turn through her closet? Mrs. Lowry also noticed a bag at her side, one made for holding paraphernalia - was it related to her statement?

"Aaaaah! Who the hell are you?! How'd you get in here?" Mrs. Lowry's question answered itself as she realized she'd left the door of her apartment open for but the briefest of moments, but who in this day and age just expected a borderline prostitute to walk in on a woman's business? Easily flustered, Mrs. Lowry glanced about for some rhyme or reason. "Please, please leave! No trespassing!"

Dandy Belle simply smiled, her suspicions confirmed. Not even a hint of recognition! These ladies were all too easy

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