Short Skirts and Selfie Sticks Do Not Mix

Short Skirts and Selfie Sticks Do Not Mix

By Honey Moon

My husband would be coming home soon after an extended trip abroad that promises to vastly increase his financial worth. I’ll be frank. I love his bank account, but I hate being left alone so often. Damn, that sounded wrong. I honestly like Billy; I wouldn’t stick around if I didn’t. I’d just do the divorce thing and take him for every penny I can get my hands on.

Yes, I hit the jackpot when I married William Boyd right out of high school. (No relation to the Hopalong Cassidy actor!) While the other girls on my cheer squad went after promising jocks, hoping they would eventually go pro, I set my sights much higher. As captain of the Wolverton Wolverines Cheer Squad, I just had to crook my little finger and the geeks and nerds would come running.

I was Billy’s first. Well, I was a lot of nerd’s first, but that let me be choosy. Billy is cute, comes from old money, and is so smart he’s like Elon Musk and Steve Job’s love child. Add to that one more detail. My Billy Boy is HUNG! His ten inches suits me perfectly. He’s just the right thickness, too. On special occasions I give him a thrill and let him bop my ass with it. I’ve actually grown to like that. Sometimes I even masturbate with a dildo up my butt when he’s away from home.

Once I let Billy think he talked his way into my panties to pop a “cherry” that was popped three years previously when I talked my lezzy cousin Liz into test driving her new strap-on during a sleepover, I knew I had a winner. Thank goodness he was so awkward around girls. None of my classmates saw a true diamond in the rough like I had. If any had discovered what my special nerd friend had in his pants, I would have spent my entire senior year scratching bitch’s eyes out to keep them away from my meal ticket!

I enjoy having practically unlimited free time. I do some volunteer work, I travel, and I do a lot of shopping at thrift stores. Having money doesn’t mean I waste it! I love going out on “the hunt” for bargains. Aside from these more open pleasures, I do have a passion. I write a little. Well, maybe I write a lot. Perhaps I do a little too much writing. Ever hear of that book “Fifty Shades of Grey”? What I write makes Grey look like pure straight up vanilla ice cream served at a church social!

There’s a slight problem though. My husband thinks I write Doctor Who fanfics, and the occasional original science fiction short story. I do. I even let him read them. He doesn’t know that for the past twelve years I’ve been writing some really twisted erotica. I somehow don’t think he would approve. I know his uptight mother wouldn’t.

Name a fetish and odds are I might have touched on it. I’ll write anything from innocent first times, to magical orgies ending in vore fueled snuff. If you don’t know what vore is, look it up. Yeah, well written vore is just as erotic to me as a passionate sex scene! About the only fetish I won’t write about is scat. Look that up too. YUCK!

I take a certain amount of pride knowing that men (and women) all around the world masturbate while reading my little erotic tales. That may sound disgusting to some, but I don’t give a damn. I kind of get off imagining how my stories are used. No, I’ll be honest. I’m thrilled knowing how much “use” my stories are put to! How many women can truthfully claim that they get thousands of guys they never actually met to pop a load, or have women from all walks of life moaning while they read with one hand down their panties? Damn, the thought always makes me wet!

I’m beginning to digress here. Okay, here’s a quick recap. I like my husband, He is a very good provider, who isn’t home as much as I would like. I, let’s face it, write filth. Embarrassing as it is to admit, I get turned on by writing filth. Depraved as it seems, I’m sometimes the moaning woman with a hand down my panties because of my stories. There, now I think I’m back on course.

I was out shopping at a thrift store, after a morning of writing a serious sex scene between an older woman, and a bi curious under age high school girl. I was mo

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