The History of Claire's Demon-Run World

Story by lori09

The year is AD 1000, the High Middle Ages have begun, and humans are basically living like pigs in slop, and loving it. They work forty hours a week and no more. That made for a lot of free time.

The six Kitsune took the elevator down to the lowest, coldest floor of Hell. Satan laid on the sick bed waiting for them. "I see you all made it. You six know the drill. We go in, rough those lazy ass angels up, and leave. However, today we have a new item on the agenda: filing a complaint with God Himself. Any questions?" Satan looked at his arch demons. "Good. None. Look alive, people we move now!"

The seven demons took the elevator to the top floor: Heaven itself. The six Kitsune stayed a step behind Satan as he transformed: cold, blood-red eyes, twin tails, overgrown batwings, horns, freaky voice. At his most powerful, Satan broke the door to Heaven like it was a toothpick. "Stay frosty and keep moving."

The six Kitsune transformed into their nine-tailed fox form and followed Satan into the now door-less doorway. The exact moment Satan crossed the threshold, the alarm went off. Seraph poured out of every nook and cranny, the Saints issued the battle cry, and the archangels led the defense. "Split up and draw off the Seraph!" Satan ordered, drawing his sword and meeting the archangels in combat. From the moment the fight began, it was clear the demons had the angels. While the angels laid around watching television and eating bonbons all day, the demons had been in training, preparing for Armageddon. Satan drove the archangels back and sent the weaker ones sprawling. Out of the six, only Michael and Gabriel managed to stay with Satan. Above the clash of steel, Michael and Satan could be heard arguing like parent and child on different, opposing sides. Satan drove Michael and Gabriel into the throne room and the circle of perpetual light.

God sat on the throne and massaged His temples in frustration. "Enough!" He bellowed, slamming His Zweihander pommel into the floor. "Luc, as much as I love watching you and your pet foxes throw My Seraph around to show them how lazy they actually are, this back and forth between you and your son has to stop."

"There was another item on today's agenda." Satan started.

"Yes, I know it. State your piece and then leave." God replied.

"Why did You give me the hard job? You get the big, cushy throne here where it's comfortable and throw me into that frozen inferno! You sit around all day eating bonbons and watching only You know what on the television while they, Your children lay around being lazy!" Satan screamed.

"If you think My job is easy, let Me see you do it!" God's voice thundered through the cosmos.

"Fine, if You're offering, then I will!" Satan returned. "It was a pleasure doing business with you." Satan turned on his heel to leave.

"Oh, Lucifer, there is a catch." God said.

"There always is." Satan muttered venomously as he turned back to face the throne. "What is this catch You refer to?" Satan asked.

"If you come back here at anytime before Judgment Day to renegotiate our little arrangement, you will leave those hideous Halloween props behind and become the archangel of light again." God answered.

Satan turned on his heel and waved goodbye. "See You on Doomsday Old Friend." With that Satan and his entourage left to take the elevator to the basement.

After Satan left, Michael covered his face with his wings and knelt in the circle of perpetual light. "My Lord, forgive me, but You can't seriously be giving my parent the whole of the cosmos. He can't run it right."

For the first time all day, God stepped off the throne and gently raised Michael off his knees and opened his wings. "Oh, Luc will be back. Never forget he is not a perfect being." God sat back down on the throne to wait Satan out.

"So, Lord, what do we do until Satan returns?" Gabriel asked the obvious question with the obvious answer.

"Stand aside, Gabe, stand aside. Let Satan play Me for however long he wishes." God replied.

Michael and Gabriel left the throne room together. "So now what?" Gabriel asked Michael.

Michael raised an eyebrow. "Doomsday preparations. If my father is running things down there, we have to be ready for a real fight. It won't just be these little skirmishes where Satan throws us aside just to stay in shape."

Gabriel issued the training orders. "All right, people up and at 'em. Sleepy time's over! Doomsday is in I don't know how long. We need to be ready!"

Just then, Satan poked his head in the empty doorway. "Hey, Mikey, you want your door back?"

"If you don't mind." Michael replied.

Satan pulled his head out of the doorway and snapped his fingers. The door was as good as new, better even. Satan stepped onto the elevator, the Kitsune in tow. "Blizzard, you now have the earth to rule as your own. Before anyone gets jealous, I will look at my star charts once we get back to the basement and divvy up the universe."

"Thank you, Master." The Kitsune said in unison.

The elevator hit the

... more on the forums ...