Altamira, A Very Merry (un)Birthday to You!

Trimming Her Hedgerow

I stared, open-mouthed for several long moments before checking the address on the scrap of paper I had stuck in my pocket. According to the address I had written down we were at the right place. I turned to Autumn and shrugged. "We're at the right address. I guess we must be at the right place."

Like me, Autumn had been staring in awe. "Are you absolutely sure?" she asked, unable to tear her eyes away from the incredible sight before us. "I mean, just look at this place!"

I couldn't disagree with her assessment that there must have been some sort of mistake. To say the property was out of my league was an understatement. It wasn't just that the people were obviously really rich with a really nice house, in fact, there wasn't a house at all. Instead, it was a fucking castle. Complete with grounds. Not a yard but actual castle grounds that stretched as far as the eye could see.

I checked the address again to find that it hadn't changed in the three minutes since I had checked previously. I grabbed the handle of my trundle-cart. "Well, come on," I urged as I started up the long road that led to the castle doors.

As we made our way to the castle Autumn voiced the question that had sprang to mind as I looked over the seemingly infinite grounds. "What the hell do they need us for?"

It was a good question. As vast as the castle grounds were every last bit of it was perfectly maintained. The grass was green and trimmed, the hedges were sculpted into shapes, mostly hearts. "I'm feeling a definite theme here," I said, examining the grounds as we walked.

"No shit," Autumn replied. "I think it's a good thing neither one of us are blondes named Alice."

"I'm pretty attached to my head, well, both of them," I said, nodding. "You're right, though. This place is pretty freaky."

"And it just got freakier," Autumn said, pointing. "Look."

Up ahead the road split to circle around a statue; a larger-than-life sculpture of a beautiful woman. Her figure was eye-opening with gigantic tits and a very big and very round ass. But the most stunning part of the statue was the thing between its legs.

"Fuck, that's a huge cock," Autumn said and whistled. "Compensating much, do you think? Just look at it, fucker's bigger than my arm."

"Your arm nothing! Damn thing's bigger than my leg!" I whipped out my measuring tape. "Well, 32 inches precisely." I put my measuring tape away. "C'mon, if we stand around here all day drooling over this statue we'll never get this over with."

It was a long walk in the hot sun and it didn't take long before Autumn started complaining. "I'm getting charbroiled here. This place needs a shuttle bus. We've been walking for half-an-hour and the castle is still a long-ass way from here."

I sighed, at that point it really hadn't been worth bringing her along. "You big baby, just hop in the trundle cart and I'll pull it to the castle."

I wasn't expecting her to take me up on my offer but she did, hopping right into the cart. It made the cart much harder to pull but at least Autumn was a lot quieter.

In the end we didn't have to go all the way to the palace as our customer met us well short of the castle. Even before we reached her we knew exactly who she was.

"Fuck, just look at her," Autumn said. "It's plain as day!"

Autumn was right. Clearly the lady making way to us in long powerful strides could only be the lady in the sculpture. Her elegant cheekbones, her proud bearing, her haughty demeanor...well, no one gave a shit about those, really. But her tits and ass gave the game away for sure.

She also had green hair. Well, I fucked up once trying to dye my hair before so I knew how embarrassing it could be.

Autumn continued to stare at her as if she were trying to burn a hole in the woman's clothing. "Shit, I can't tell if she's packing with that dress she's wearing. A 32 inch cock should be impossible to hide but that dress is pretty bulky."

As we closed with the lady I pulled up to a stop and let her come to us. I wasn't sure what the proper protocol was for this type of situation and decided to play it cautious. Fortu

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