[Guro] TDpHS Episode 2: The Brainfuckery of Haruhi Suzumiya [nc, guro, humor]

Story by SleepingSword

The Depravity of Haruhi Suzumiya

Episode 2:

The Brainfuckery of Haruhi Suzumiya

Tags: Rape, Brainfucking , humor (at least I think it’s funny)

Warning: This story is some fucked up shit. I mean seriously if you are sane and wish to remain sane hit BACK right now. I mean what kind of weirdo reads this shit? What kind of psychotic loser writes this shit? And just so that no one accuses me of being vague, when I say brainfucking I mean putting a penis into a brain and having brainsex not as in ‘mindfuck’ as in a work of fiction that attempts to mess with your head.

Also, this is fan fiction. Meaning that it is based off the Haruhi Suzumiya series which I do not own and that it may contain spoilers for the anime .

You have been warned so no complaining. Except for the long delay between chapters. Complain about that all you like… not that it will do you any good. It just wouldn’t be Haruhi if it didn’t make you wait a long assed time would it?

Well, I was awoken the next morning by Nagato gently shaking me. I had fallen asleep next to her after we spent a long night fucking. I would tell you all about it but it was all consensual and vaginal only and would only put gore obsessed psychos like you to sleep. That and the events of the date leading up to it were the worst story SleepingSword ever wrote.

“Shit, do we have to get up and go to class?” I groaned. I would much rather go back to curling up next to Nagato’s warm body than braving the cruel winter’s chill. I would still feel that way even if I didn’t have raging morning wood.

“Yes.” Came Nagato’s flat monotone response. Her hair still wet from the shower, she was getting dressed in her usual school uniform.

“Can’t we call out sick?”

“That would be a lie.”

“We cut off a girl’s tits yesterday and cauterized the wounds with a blowtorch. That sounds pretty sick to me.” Came my logical response.

“You were anxious about Haruhi.”

She had a point. I had been pretty worried about Haruhi since yesterday afternoon. Even with Nagato’s space magic nanomachines Haruhi had endured pretty extreme traumatic wounds. Wounds that were totally her idea and were only inflicted upon her under protest. Not that I expected that argument would sway any judge. Sure Haruhi was a pain in the ass and everything, but that doesn’t mean I like the idea of her suffering in agony, whether she deserves it or not.

With a few grunts of protest I raised myself out of the bed. As I watched Nagato getting dressed it slowly dawned on me that she was putting back on the clothing we had strewn around the room last night. Wait, she’s putting her dirty clothes from yesterday back on?

“I only own one winter uniform and one summer uniform. Every morning I reset the uniform back to it‘s original state.”

“So we’re just using space magic as the deus ex machina for just about every single aspect of this parody series?” At this point I was starting to wonder if I was leaning too heavily on the fourth wall.

“I did the same for your uniform. Please get dressed.” Nagato replied apparently ignoring my stupid question.

By the time I’m done showering and getting dressed Nagato has prepared breakfast for us. A breakfast consisting of Pop Tarts apparently. I’ll admit I would have expected a little more from my first post-spending-the-night-with-a-girl breakfast but I suppose beggars can’t be choosers and- wait a second… they’re S’mores flavored! I love you Yuki you’re the best!

We sit across from one another at her table having hot tea and S’mores Pop Tarts. I have four and watch in awe as Nagato devours the other 8. Must be nice to have a metabolism like that.

Before we left for school I called my house and apologized to my sister (whose name I cannot recall) for not coming home last night. At least I didn’t have to worry about my parents wondering where I was last night on account of them being dead. Yeah, my sister and I are orphans who live off of a trust fund. Sometimes we pretend our parents are alive as a form of denial. Explains a lot doesn’t it? I understand Charlie Brown had the same problem but at least I don’t have some homeless guy with a trumpet living in my house.

After an uneventful walk up that fucking hill to our school Nagato and I part ways. As I was putting my shoes into my locker I bumped into Taniguchi who was, of course, as annoying as ever.

“Hey Kyon,” He pried. “I saw you walking up the hill today with Yuki Nagato.”

“Yeah,” I answered flatly. “I spent last night at her apartment.”

“Bullshit!”

“We spent half the night fucking so I’m a bit exhausted.” I explained with a deadpan expression. “So would you mind shutting the hell up?”

“Yeah right!” He scoffed. “Next you’re gonna tell me you also scored with Miss Suzumiya.”

“Yes, I also popped her cherry too yesterday.” I explained dryly. “As I was cutting off her tits with an electric kn

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