Wild Crimson (non-futa; writing experiment, analysis please!)

Story by SMP4

Note: I originally wrote this for fictionpress as a little writing experiment last year. But, I am not really sure if this style really suits me. If you would like to read and provide analytical feedback I will love you forever. And just in case anyone is wondering, there's no continuation of this little tale.

Chapter 0: Ayame

The ill-colored sky was fully reflected on the surface of a clear, violet pair of eyes gazing up at it. In the reflection, the clouds were hastily repositioning themselves; it was as though they were making way for god's chariot to thunder across heaven's corridors.

With all the signs that nature has given, the owner of the violet pair knew that it was going to rain soon; yet, her legs were as stretched out as ever and her arms were limply hanging by her side. The only thing that seems to have been keeping her from toppling over was her slumped back, which leaned against the wall.

Pitter-patter… and then the downpour began. At first, it was just a few droplets seeking a surface to stain; but gradually, their number grew into hundreds, thousands, millions. As the wind picked up, the rain was able to cut a path toward the girl. Although they got some of her skin and hair, most of it was greedily absorbed by her springtime uniform.

When the coldness began sinking its fangs into her skin, she picked up her legs and pressed them tightly against her chest, locking them together by wrapping her arms around them. She still did not close the opened phone that she tightly held onto. On the femininely decorated screen, black letterings could be seen imprinted across a white background; the combination of colors emitted a sickening, digital radiance in contrast to the drearily dark environment.

As the message on her phone replayed again and again like a broken record player in her mind, the frail girl lowered her head and rested her face in the rift between her arms; created by her upright, fetal position.

Pit-pat, pit-pat… the sound of rain hitting Hanayu's body changed as its relentless attack halted; something was protecting her from their warmongering nature. When noticed it, Hanayu lifted her head and turned to her left to the guardian figure standing beside her. It was a vision of a tall, young woman adorning in the same uniform that she is wearing. The figure that was leaning against the wall was holding onto a sky blue umbrella with her left hand.

"Do you need salvation?" The aloof figure finally spoke up as she turned her face toward Hanayu, who was sitting on the ground. The eyes that returned Hanayu's bewildered gaze was a clear and sharp pair of agate. But stranger than the gems themselves, the woman's hair was a vibrant, strawberry blond. Hanayu's cheeks flustered a healthy plum-red as she inscribed the sight into her mind, the woman's beauty left her speechless.

The next moment was completely a blur to her. The standing figure crouched down to her level and leaned her face in closer. With her free hand on Hanayu's shoulder as support, the girl extended her tongue toward the blushed cheek and licked up the salty trail of tears that was trickling down Hanayu's tarnished face. When she finished, the young woman pulled back and quickly pressed her lips against Hanayu's. The one to receive the sudden kiss was in state of complete shock.

SMACK!!! Without a single warning, Hanayu's hand moved on its own and swept across the assailant's face, successfully redrawing the distance between them. Her face quickly contorted into aggression that would most likely befit a tigress, her eyes narrowed with murderous intentions. "What are you trying to pull?"

"Ouch… hehe… how cold, that smarts you know?" the girl nursed her cheek with light rubbing before she continued. "Very well, let's cut to the chase. Hanayu Fujino, I have completely fallen for you. It was love at first sight!"

BA-BUMP! Hanayu could feel her heart letting out a dangerously loud beat at the confession that came out of nowhere. Even so, did not drop her guard as her eyes retained the original intensity they had. She even furthered her guard one step further by holding her arms defensively over her body. "…"

Shrugging off the stringing pain with a wipe across her mouth, the unnamed girl curled her lips into a malicious grin as she spoke with complete assurance and confidence, "how about a challenge then? If I manage to make you fall in love with me by the end of the school year, then you will entirely surrender yourself to me. And if I lose, I will take back every single word I said, along with the kiss and will become your slave for the rest of my life."

A surprised expression stressed her face as she listened to the young woman's proposal. For a moment, the thoughts of having

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